Archibald's Family Tree

It has been remarked upon that I might not be of pure dachshund heritage. The Electorate is entitled to know a bit more about my background and heritability. I have heard it said that I am not a true weiner and I confess there was a beagle who wandered under our family tree. Now, I do not approve of all this dragging up of old armadillos in the course of a hot campaign, but I want to be sure that the truth is not warped by opponent canines or (dog forbid!) felines. So here is the story.

My grandfather Morse, a handsome and musculositous long and short dog, who came from Cedar Creek, was renowned far and wide for his ability to sometimes outrun cars. One day he ended up in the yard of a beautiful young beagle named Sylvia. They dallied. In due course Sylvia produced 5 long, short and beautiful puppies, one of whom was taken back to the rather posher home of purebred dachshunds down the street where Morse lived. In due course she and Archibald, one of Morse’s legitimate sons, produced Archibald Archibaldovich, our candidate,er, me. Somewhat later our obnoxious sister, Zenobia Archibaldovna, was born. Her mother, Carmen, a beautiful and pure miniature dachshund, disappeared shortly after Zenobia’s birth and so we took her in.

That is the complete story. All the wild scribosities regarding outlaws and worms and animal control officers and shelters are merely intended to dull the shine of A A Blue’s respectible family history. I am a law-abiding, adulterous dog.